Hundreds of submissions poured in from 49ers fans volunteering ways to cure Levi’s Stadium’s curse.
This is a civic duty. That includes by yours truly, seeing how I was born 50 years ago this month in Santa Clara, a mere orchard or semiconductor plant away from the 49ers’ stadium (est. 2014).
It’s been over a year since the 49ers won there, since the Los Angeles Rams’ last visit last October. An 0-4 home mark this season can mushroom even more on “Monday Night Football” when the Rams return.
Some of the following “curse” cures are worth a shot. Some are gallows humor. Excluded are the logical ones suggesting to simply play better, and the impossible ones demanding to fire those who do the firings, like the owner, coach and general manager.
Here are your best suggestions, with my retorts:
Bring back Eddie D! Curse reversed magically! (@Cnglee8)
It didn’t work last weekend. Eddie DeBartolo celebrated his 75th birthday Saturday night at Levi’s Stadium for Bryant Young’s induction into the 49ers’ Hall of Fame. Eddie D’s presence also didn’t stop the 49ers from losing 2016 and ’17 games to New England and Dallas. But he’s forever a five-ring winner.
Sign Frank Gore so he can retire a Niner on a one-day contract and let him in that locker room. (@kale5583)
Gore has more pressing plans: a Dec. 18 boxing debut against former NBA all-star Deron Williams in Tampa. The 49ers insist Gore will retire with them, eventually. The franchise’s rushing king left town in 2014, closing with 144 yards in a win over Arizona — at Levi’s Stadium.
Install some type of object of importance from Candlestick. (@KMHall11)
Would love to see again the St. Francis of Assisi statue that stood watch over the south gate of Candlestick Park.
Get four old seats from the ‘Stick, bring them to Levi’s and have Montana, Rice, Young and Lott sit in them and watch the next game. (@JoshTooker)
OK, that fabled foursome might be easier to find than the St. Francis statue. Good luck getting Rice to stay in one of those seats when he’d rather run up and down the field like he did pregame last Sunday.
Get the ghost of Bill Walsh. (@Zainladha1)
Candlestick Park’s playing surface was named “Bill Walsh Field” in 2007, shortly after the legendary coach passed away at age 75. Levi’s Stadium’s field got called many names in its early days, not many complimentary. (By the way, a replica of Walsh’s office is in the 49ers’ museum, where other artifacts that should come out and be displayed on the stadium concourse for more fans to see on game days.)
Try the Wayne Gretzky method. Put something lucky under the turf at midfield. (@chuckallen22)
That would refer to the Canadian loonie coin buried at center ice in the 2002 Olympics in Utah, where Canada won gold in both men’s and women’s hockey. So, the 49ers’ equivalent would be, what, planting a gold tooth under the midfield helmet logo, with a tracking device?
Sacrifice a unicorn in the 400 Section during the summer on a 100+ degree day. (@tarticusb)
Already been done. Every August. Hasn’t worked.
Make Levi’s jeans part of their Unis. (@taylordartt)
This sounds a lot like George Costanza switching the Yankees’ uniforms from polyester to cotton. Nick Bosa pass rushing in jorts? Instead, the 49ers are to show up Monday night in the 1994 red throwback jerseys they wore in this season’s losses to Green Bay and Indianapolis.
Suggest away-color jersey for the next home game. (@miles_odonnell)
Well, all three 49ers’ wins this season have come in away jerseys.
Remove the Seahawks’ brick from the fan walk. (@TDHawk21)
Rice credited his strong hands to laying bricks with his father. Maybe it’s time he unearths any Seahawks contraband planted by their fans among the Levi’s brickyard.
Kyle is going to have to do a Barry Fry (ex Birmingham City FC Manager) to lift the Levi Curse! (@andylaird25)
Not sure if Santa Clara County health czars would encourage Kyle Shanahan to relieve himself on all four corners of the pitch like Fry did to try exorcising Birmingham City football club’s curse.
An ex-Liverpool FC player lifted a curse at Anfield by urinating on the goalposts. Liverpool then won the League for the 1st time in 30 years. (@NileLFC)
English soccer, hydration and superstitions deserve a docuseries. I’ll call it, “Ted Lasso.” Actually, one of the better episodes of that Apple TV masterpiece had AFC Richmond players burning a personnel memento in a bin on their haunted home field. Brilliant.
10-cent beer night!!!! What could possibly go wrong?!??!! (@GetchaPull49ers)
See: the previous two proposals. Then again, Levi’s Stadium already uses recycled water.
Bring Kaepernick back! (@Titos_714)
Of all the reasons people have clamored to see Colin Kaepernick back in the NFL after a 4 ½-year absence, this is a new one.
Leave Santa Clara. Professional teams don’t win in this county. Look at the Sharks and Earthquakes. (@moshamim621)
As refuted by @Ryan_TheMayor23 (Ryan Fritzberg): “Sharks were a perennial playoff team for decades. The Quakes have two (MLS) titles. Soooooo … “
I can go do the egg prayer on them. I am Mexican and we pull out the egg for everything. That and Vick’s. (@glzzzzmtvvr)
That could be eggsactly what is needed. I’ll see if the Yolk, er, York ownership approves.
Has anyone tried turning it off, and turning it back on? (@elwhiskerbiscuit)
That worked at Candlestick Park in a 2011 Monday night game against the Pittsburgh Steelers – and it almost sparked a Super Bowl comeback in New Orleans.
Lift the entire stadium and place it back in San Francisco! (@zalifar79)
This was essentially the most popular suggestion in a variety of responses. The only way that steel skeleton gets lifted and shifted north is via the San Andreas Fault. No thanks.
Paint the stadium scarlet. (@aj_salaices)
You can put red lipstick on a pigsty and it’s still, oh wait, a pigsty is what DeBartolo called Candlestick Park in 1985 – amid a Super Bowl dynasty.
Embrace the tough homefield aspects — like embrace the swirling winds of Candlestick — as part of your homefield advantage. (@S_to_the_Pon)
The toughest aspect being … what, exactly? Maybe that’s the problem: not knowing the problem.
Put the miner (Sourdough Sam) in a denim bag, and bring on the crab! (@mikeedmonson)
Put the miner in a denim bag, and bring on the crab! pic.twitter.com/BfuPupTIEp
— mike edmonson (@mikeedmonson) November 8, 2021
Well, the Crazy Crab was the San Francisco Giants’ ridiculed mascot in 1984 – before the 49ers went on to win their second Super Bowl. Go free the Crab from Oracle Park’s display case!
Price the good fans back in, remove the country club spectators. (@BenOfBayArea)
No, the fans are not at fault, here. As Jimmy Garoppolo testified: “There’s something about playing home. We’ve got to figure it out and get it right because these fans deserve it.”
Put a roof over the stadium so fans will actually sit in their seats. (@kifoolio)
Enough with the fans. Not their fault. The 49ers lose with them there, and without them (see: 2020 pandemic ban).
Remove Takeo Spikes from pre/post-game shows. His entire career has been a playoff jinx. (@KatzManDoIt)
Ouch! Spikes is one of many excellent NBC Sports Bay Area analysts – and the one believed to hold the NFL record for most games played (219) without a playoff appearance.
Bring in a representative of every major faith and have them cleanse/bless the place. (@geoffcast)
Amen, we could all use some spiritual healing.
How about raising the price of season tickets and including FREE FOOD? With no lines. That should work. (@dgnrg22)
Jed, is that you?
Start practicing in the field and not outside. Get guys used to field and surroundings. (@uuhitonttu)
Those rare practices happen in training camp in August, not on tender sod in November. Maybe a full-team sleepover and campout could suffice instead of more Marriott points up the road.
The future at QB and the 49ers should start Monday night. (@fernandez_joe)
Ok, so it looks like we’re back to talking about real-life football and Trey Lance, again.
The Faithful gotta stop being so negative towards them. Bad vibes are real! I know losing is upsetting but instead of bashing our players UPLIFT THEM !! (@vssa__)
And lift a curse, while you’re at it.